I really don't see it as so violent. It's about two people in a complex relationship. The guy really loves this girl and wants to get closer to her, but she won't let him. (And we lay, we lay together just not/Too close, too close (How close is close enough?). She has some imtimacy problems (not sexaul) and some past issues to sort out. But he's there near at hand. (You've got this new head filled up with smoke/And I've got my veins all tangled close /To the jukebox bars you frequent/{They're} the safest place to hide). Her most obvious weakness is her fear of getting close and being put on the spot about it.
Breaking her down isn't about hurting her, it's about opening her up, getting her to talk, to express her feeling, show the real her. (In the worse way) it confronting her about it. Laying it all out on the table. Getting it over with, like ripping off a band aid. Doing it this quickly is probably the worse way because usually people need time to open up to their problems.
(My inarticulate store bought hangover hobby kit, It says, "You, oh, you are so cool.") can possibly refer to the real drinking and they way she makes him feel while in the state of uphoria and after how terrible she makes him feel the day after, or she makes him feel drunk/hungover both at the same time to the point where he can't even speak. "Scissor shaped across the bed, you are red, violent red" is obviously her teasing/tempting him. Violent red is the almost violent passion he feels for her which "hollow out my[his] hungry eyes". He has become insatiatable around her.
The words "I'm gonna make damn sure that you can't ever leave
/No, you won't ever get too far from me" can be taken as obsession, posessiveness, obesessive love or a determination of this guy to open her up, while making sure she doesn't run away.